[festive song playing]
Subtitles by explosiveskull
[song continues on car radio]
[sighs]
[radio presenter on radio] We interrupt this program
to bring you an important news bulletin.
The Center for Disease Control has recategorized the pandemic
first thought to be a super virus strain of the flu.
It has now been determined to be a lethal pathogen
seemingly capable of reanimating...
- [switch clicks] - [music playing on radio]
Have you got your ticket for tonight?
Dad, I told you, I've got work.
You deserve a break, love.
I don't need a break.
You won't be saying that next year
when it's wall-to-wall lectures. [chuckles]
You heard back from art school yet, John?
Uh, no, not yet, Mr. Shepherd.
Is that normal?
- Dad! - Sorry!
I'm sure it'll be fine.
Hey, why don't you bring Anna to the Christmas show tonight?
I'm working!
So is he. John, you tell him!
She can't, she's got to pay off that ticket.
- [gasps] - John!
What ticket?
You said, "Tell him!"
- I didn't say tell him that! - What ticket?
- It's nothing. - Anna!
I'll tell you about it later.
What ticket, Anna?
Just...
I'm going on a trip, all right?
- When? Where? - Dad.
Well, I hope you checked when university starts, because...
I'm not going to uni!
- [tires screech] - [liquid spills]
I'm gonna travel first.
Just for a year, or maybe...
Don't be so stupid!
[music continues on radio]
[school bell ringing]
[John] See you inside.
Thanks for the lift, Mr. Shepherd.
You know this is going to hold you back.
Where are you gonna go?
Australia first. The ticket's open.
Oh, well, that's all right if it's open, eh?
Think of all the beautiful places
you could get mugged or killed.
Stop trying to run my life.
I'm not a little girl anymore.
Well, stop acting like one!
If your mother could see you now...
I can't wait to get away from you.
Anna.
- [sighs] - [Steph on phone] My parents went to Mexico,
so I'm all alone.
I just thought it would be nice
to spend Christmas as a couple.
[soft music playing on speakers]
That's fine. [stammers]
It's fine. Forget it.
[sighs]
[John] My holiday gift donation.
[Steph] Wait!
Sorry!
Don't! I got it.
Do you need a hand with these, Steph?
[Steph] No, my car's right outside.
I guess we're all having a good day.
You all right?
Never seen your dad like that before.
You think I'm doing the right thing, yeah?
Yeah, it's great.
Anyway...
P.E. is calling.
Yeah!
- [door closes] - [sighs]
[Savage] More snowflakes!
That picture's not straight.
[snaps fingers] Drawing pin missing, bottom left-hand corner.
Miss North!
Dropped the homeless story.
It's editorial.
You can't do that.
It's a school blog, Miss North, not The Times.
Council sets our budgets, so we play nice.
Hopefully, get some new computers.
With all due respect, Mr. Savage...
I'm gonna go to Mr. Gill.
- Be my guest! - Cool!
[Savage] Headmaster Gill is all but gone.
Come January, this school is mine.
Oh. And as I told you before,
park your vehicle on school property
and it becomes school property.
[keychain squeaks]
Give!
[squeaks]
[shouting] Withdraw your tongues!
[sighs]
[sighs deeply]
♪ As I wake half-dead In the same old bed ♪
♪ It's a dawn of another day ♪
♪ I feel chained and bound To this hopeless town ♪
♪ And I know I must break away ♪
♪ There's a world out there Why does no one care? ♪
♪ Are they lost In the games they play? ♪
♪ So much they don't see But there's more to me ♪
♪ And I know I must break away ♪
♪ Oh, I've been lying I've been cheating ♪
♪ I've been fooling myself ♪
♪ Instead of fighting I've been hiding away ♪
- [all laughing] - ♪ I've been running ♪
♪ Going nowhere ♪
♪ I put my heart on a shelf ♪
♪ And I don't want To live that way ♪
[all] ♪ Trapped in the moment ♪
♪ Ready to fly ♪
♪ I've got to find my own way ♪
♪ Sooner or later It ends in goodbye ♪
♪ We all have to break away ♪
Chris, your showreel is meant to tell us who you are.
How would you like the world to be?
I don't know. Uh...
More robots?
Look, you're a really talented boy.
But you need something real to say.
And by tomorrow. You're already late.
♪ Oh, it's hard to hide ♪
♪ When the truth inside Rises up like a tidal wave ♪
♪ There's been Something wrong now ♪
- ♪ For far too long ♪ - [girl coughing]
♪ And I know I must break away ♪
♪ Am I lying? Am I cheating? Am I fooling myself? ♪
♪ Why should they listen To what I have to say? ♪
♪ Am I just another nobody Like everyone else? ♪
♪ 'Cause I don't want To live that way ♪
♪ Trapped in the moment ♪
♪ Ready to fly ♪
♪ I've got to find My own way ♪
♪ Sooner or later It ends in goodbye ♪
♪ We all have to break away ♪
♪ I dream at night Of my escape ♪
♪ How much longer Must I wait? ♪
♪ Trapped in the moment Ready to fly ♪
♪ Scared you might fly ♪
♪ I've got to find My own way ♪
♪ How can I get you to stay? ♪
♪ Sooner or later ♪
- ♪ It ends in goodbye ♪ - ♪ Don't say goodbye ♪
- ♪ We all have to break away ♪ - ♪ We don't have to break away ♪
♪ Break away ♪
[sighing]
[Lisa] Anna!
- [Anna] Hey, Lisa! - Oh!
- [chuckles] - What do you think?
It's like Narnia threw up over Oz?
I know!
Hold still!
Four more cast members called out sick.
So we're going to have to change
the running order, I'm afraid.
Please try to remember that a hand sanitizer is your friend.
Kissing on the mouth
is not...
Your friend.
You two!
Why aren't you up on stage?
I'm not in the show.
Ah, Miss Shepherd.
Your father is doing my lights.
When he has finished cleaning the toilets,
would you send him my way, please?
- That's not his job! - Anna!
It will be soon.
Now where is my magician?
[boy] Here, sir!
[people gasp]
[all laughing]
I think it's about time we had a little chat about health and safety.
Everybody up on stage, please.
Now!
- No, no, no! - [fabric ripping]
[school bell ringing]
Get back on stage this minute!
Flightless chancers!
[girl wheezing loudly]
[inhaling]
[exhales]
- [grunts] - [Anna gasps]
[sobbing]
[laughs]
You are such a child.
A sexy child.
Wait, no.
Goodbye, Nick!
Hey. Come on, come on. Don't be like that!
Look.
If you wanna hook up
- over the holidays, then... - [Tony clears throat]
Skip off.
[chuckles]
[door opens]
Savage is losing it.
He made Henry Lee cry 'cause he can't breakdance.
Henry Lee has a prosthetic.
And he only has one leg!
Hey, guys!
Yay! Boyfriend!
[both moaning]
[snickers]
[chuckles]
[indistinct talking]
[boys laughing]
Ignore him.
Ugh. He's such a prick!
I mean, yeah, he's got a body you could
- lick chocolate off but you'd have to have... - [Anna] Mmm-hmm.
...like, no self-respect to even think...
I mean, um...
Not you, obviously! [chuckles]
The others!
Not that there's been loads,
you know, it's probably all just rumors anyway.
- [Anna groans] - I mean, love me!
- [Anna laughs] - Hey, guys!
Chris. Uh...
I need you to film something.
Yeah? Cool. I'll film anything.
Savage keeps screwing with the blog.
So, um, I wanna bypass the school completely
and do a video. [chuckles] Uh...
If we go to the soup kitchen tonight,
I can have it in before Christmas
and actually show people we have a problem.
No! It's the Christmas show tonight.
And I'm doing a special song about Santa!
[Steph] Our teacher said you need something real.
Um... This is real.
I promise I'll make it back for your song
and Gran will be there.
She's really excited to see you, Lis.
All right.
[Steph] Yeah!
Thank you! Thank you! Cool.
Yeah, um...
Let's see that asshole try and stop this one!
Uh...
Bye.
- [Nick] Oi, Annie Lennox! - [boys laugh]
Right. I'm going over there.
Power down your lasers, Iron Man!
He doesn't have lasers! They're repulsors.
Well, Nick doesn't need help being any more repulsive.
Plus, you know it's not like you could actually do anything.
Hey, did you guys hear what happened in science? Oh, my God!
Gemma Brand called Miss Hutchie a Nazi, then got all upset.
She was sent outside, 'cause she thought
Nazi meant the same as OCD. [continues indistinctly]
♪ No such thing as a Hollywood ending ♪
[excited chattering]
♪ No such thing as a Hollywood ending ♪
♪ Ooh-ah, ooh-ah ♪
♪ No such thing as a Hollywood ending ♪
♪ What was I thinking? This is nae Disney ♪
♪ I'm way off script And losing the plot ♪
♪ Things don't Work out that way I'm not McConaughey ♪
♪ Turning the charm on Or calling the shots ♪
♪ If this was a movie Maybe she would be ♪
♪ Willing to share my world ♪
♪ I'm starting to realize Sometimes the nice guys ♪
♪ Don't always get the girl ♪
[all] ♪ 'Cause no one Ever tells you ♪
♪ When you're young ♪
♪ Love's not like the books The films, or the songs ♪
♪ We've been living in a lie For far too long ♪
Man, sit down!
♪ And we're tired Of pretending ♪
♪ There's no such thing As a Hollywood ending ♪
♪ No such thing As a Hollywood ending ♪
[indistinct talking and laughter]
♪ No such thing As a Hollywood ending ♪
♪ Don't be mistaken My heart's not breaking ♪
♪ Let them all talk I don't give a shit ♪
♪ Kill, marry, shag It's all such a drag ♪
♪ I'm more than a lost piece Waiting to fit ♪
♪ I'm not a princess sat In a white dress ♪
♪ Hoping my chance Will come ♪
♪ They're not my problem Don't want to solve them ♪
♪ Just want to have some fun ♪
♪ 'Cause no one ever tells you When you're young ♪
♪ Love's not like the books The films, or the songs ♪
♪ We've been living in a lie For far too long ♪
♪ And we're tired Of pretending ♪
♪ There's no such thing As a Hollywood ending ♪
♪ I've got the one I want right next to me ♪
♪ I hope to God It works out perfectly ♪
♪ Oh, what if this was all Just meant to be? ♪
♪ I want a love never-ending ♪
♪ Your love is standing here ♪
♪ It's not belief I'm suspending ♪
♪ I'll never disappear ♪
♪ I'll get My Hollywood ending ♪
♪ Ooh-ah ♪
♪ No such thing As a Hollywood ending ♪
♪ Ooh-ah, ooh-ah ♪
♪ No such thing As a Hollywood ending ♪
♪ Ooh-ah, ooh-ah ♪
♪ No such thing As a Hollywood ending ♪
♪ Ooh-ah, ooh-ah ♪
♪ 'Cause no one ever tells you When you're young ♪
♪ I want a love never-ending ♪
♪ Love's not like the books The films, or the songs ♪
♪ It's not belief I'm suspending ♪
♪ We've been living in a lie For far too long ♪
♪ We're tired of pretending ♪
♪ There's no such thing As a Hollywood ending ♪
♪ This is not ♪
♪ No such thing As a Hollywood ending ♪
♪ The story you've been Dreaming of ♪
♪ There's no such thing As a Hollywood ending ♪
♪ The one where you get All you want ♪
♪ So stop your pretending ♪
♪ There's no such thing as a ♪
♪ Hollywood ending ♪
[school bell ringing]
[students laughing]
- Oh. - Fuck! Ow.
You need me to call someone?
I tried. My girlfriend won't pick up.
And my parents are in Mexico, so...
Wish I was in Mexico.
Sun, good food.
Tequila.
5,000 miles away from your weird-ass daughter.
Oh, I'd happily move my dad a few miles away from here right now.
Can you stop talking?
Try being moved an entirely continent,
dropped at the first opportunity.
At least you don't have a mom that's constantly
on your case about every little...
I am sorry.
I'm sorry.
- Oh! Sorry! - [man grunts]
[growling]
[men cheering]
[men hooting]
[spraying]
You smell like a shoe.
[men cheering loudly]
Christmas is fast becoming my least favorite "C" word.
You wouldn't be saying that if you were dressed
like a festive legend!
You're right.
Dressed like that, you look like a massive "C" word!
[men cheering]
[zombies groaning]
♪ My favorite dish is fish Mother flipper ♪
♪ And I eat it For the hell of it ♪
♪ A nice bit of halibut ♪
♪ That's not the only fish They got ♪
- ♪ Mackerel ♪ - ♪ Mackerel ♪
♪ I could take more Than a snack-full ♪
♪ Salmon with some jam ♪
♪ And I could drink it By the tap-full ♪
Four weeks of lunchtime rehearsals.
[clicking tongue]
At least they're trying.
♪ They say there's plenty Of fish in the sea, baby ♪
Very.
♪ But there's not enough fish For me ♪
♪ Yo, fish is delish ♪
♪ They say there's plenty Of fish in the sea, baby ♪
♪ But there's not enough fish For me ♪
[music stops]
[scattered applause]
Anyway, it's nice of you
to help them out like this, Arthur.
We can't trust them to do anything
by themselves, Tony.
Ah.
[inhaling deeply]
[music starts playing]
[gasps]
Hmm.
♪ Snow is falling On the frosty ground ♪
♪ Christmas cheer Is spreading all around ♪
♪ It's that time of year ♪
♪ But I'm feeling so blue ♪
♪ There's a lack of presents In my stocking ♪
♪ And my chimney needs A good unblocking ♪
♪ Come on, Santa ♪
- [laughing] - ♪ Dear, I've been ♪
♪ Waiting for you ♪
[Savage breathing heavily]
♪ Let me tell you If you're feeling Frozen stiff ♪
♪ My fire's Burning hot for you ♪
Filth!
♪ Let me sit upon your lap ♪
♪ There's only one gift That I wanna unwrap ♪
♪ And you and me ♪
Pornographic, salacious filth!
[breathing shakily]
I'm going to kill her!
♪ I've warmed your milk And made your favorite snack ♪
♪ So come on over And unload your sack ♪
♪ Tie those reindeer up ♪
♪ 'Cause you may be a while ♪
♪ And I know How to make you smile ♪
[man laughs]
[banging on door]
[singing continues indistinctly]
- [banging continues] - Oi!
[banging continues]
Whoever's doing that, stop it immediately.
[banging continues]
I'm warning you.
[banging continues]
[Lisa] ♪ It's that time of year ♪
- ♪ Yeah ♪ - ♪ Come on, Santa ♪
♪ Give it to me ♪
- [music stops] - [all cheering]
[cheering continues in distance]
On, Dasher. On, Dancer.
- On... - [groans]
I forget the other ones.
Firebolt?
No.
That's Harry Potter's broom!
Oh, no.
What?
We can't hang out anymore.
You're too sad.
You've hit, like, peak sad!
Look, they were a very popular series of books, and...
Sorry, Mrs. Hinzmann.
[sighs]
[grunts]
[John] All right.
Watch this!
Oh. John, wait.
- [grunts] - [thud]
[John] Oh, tits!
[Anna imitating John] "I'll get you some ice!"
- [John] Shut up! - [laughs]
"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry!"
[John sighs] I've so lost my job!
[laughing]
- [John grunts] - [both laughing]
[Anna] Oh!
When I was little,
me and Dad used to have competitions,
see who could make the best one.
Mum would judge.
We stopped doing it after she died.
What if Dad's right
and I'm just screwing everything up?
Look. [sighs]
You're gonna end up going to uni,
getting some fancy job
and having a stupidly-successful life.
It doesn't matter how you do it.
Besides...
I'll come and visit you.
We can hike across the Outback.
[laughs]
That's a pretty long hike.
[John chuckles] Well...
I'll start running to school.
Get fit.
Deal?
Deal.
- Dasher, Dancer... - Mmm-hmm.
Bashful?
[John laughs]
[John] That's a dwarf.
There's Olive.
You know.
It's in the song.
♪ Olive, the other reindeer ♪
♪ Used to laugh And call him names ♪
[both laughing]
Olive was a dick!
[both laughing]
[groans softly]
- [birds chirping] - [sighs]
Shit wank!
- Mmm. - [upbeat music playing]
♪ New morning ♪
♪ Feels different Than before ♪
♪ It's dawning ♪
♪ This thing I've been waiting for ♪
♪ And I'm flying ♪
[woman screaming]
♪ My feet won't Touch the ground ♪
- [man screaming] - ♪ I'm ready ♪
♪ For turning my life around ♪
♪ I'm waking ♪
♪ Spent too long Playing dead ♪
♪ I'm shaking ♪
♪ These blues out of my head ♪
- [people screaming] - ♪ Not letting ♪
- [car alarm blaring] - ♪ Anybody bring me down ♪
♪ I'm ready ♪
- [man screams] - ♪ For turning My life around ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ It's a brand new day ♪
♪ And I'm miles away ♪
♪ I am miles away ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ I am miles way ♪
- [man screams] Stop it! - ♪ I am miles way ♪
♪ And it's a beautiful day ♪
[sirens blaring in distance]
♪ It's brighter ♪
♪ The haven streets are clear ♪
♪ I feel lighter ♪
♪ There's nothing Left to fear ♪
♪ And I'm closer ♪
♪ For a new world I am bound ♪
♪ Oh, I'm ready ♪
Oh!
♪ For turning my life around ♪
[Anna and John] ♪ Hey ♪
♪ It's a brand new day And I'm miles away ♪
- [people screaming] - ♪ I am miles away ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
- ♪ I am miles away ♪ - Get off of her!
♪ I am miles away ♪
♪ Everybody's dying here To tell me how to live ♪
♪ But I'm not listening I've got so much more To give ♪
♪ I'm ready, ready, ready ♪
♪ I'm ready ♪
[grunts]
[birds cawing and squawking]
- [Anna] ♪ What a time to be alive ♪ - ♪ Forget your troubles ♪
- ♪ What a time to be alive ♪ - [John] ♪ Let go your woes ♪
- ♪ What a time to be alive ♪ - ♪ Live for today ♪
- ♪ What a time to be alive ♪ - [John] ♪ 'Cause you might ♪
♪ Be dead come tomorrow ♪
- ♪ What a time to be alive ♪ - ♪ The town is glowing ♪
- ♪ What a time to be alive ♪ - [John] ♪ Hearts are alight ♪
[music continues]
♪ Hey ♪
♪ It's a brand new day ♪
♪ And I'm miles away ♪
♪ I am miles away ♪
♪ Hey ♪
♪ Yeah ♪
♪ I am miles away ♪
♪ And it's a beautiful day ♪
[snowman zombie groans]
Hello?
Can you hear me?
I'm a first aider.
I'm just going to turn you over.
[growls]
[grunts]
[growling]
Okay, mate.
Mate! Mate!
Call him "mate" again. It's definitely working!
- Stay here. - You stay here!
[screaming]
There's no signal.
[John] Anna.
That guy's a zombie!
There's no such thing.
[scoffs] Right, because that's perfectly normal!
[snarling]
[John] I can't believe this is happening.
[breathing heavily] This can't be happening.
Use your inhaler.
When was the last time you saw me with an inhaler?
Don't have a go at me, just because I said, "Use your inhaler."
Because there's zombies!
That's stupid!
I never saw my mum this morning.
Did you see your dad?
I should have just gone to the show.
I bet they're still at the school.
[distant explosion]
- [car alarms blaring] - Shit!
[continues growling]
Maybe the Internet's still working.
But we can't go all the way home.
Do you still have your work keys?
[keys jingling]
Come on.
Maybe it won't be so bad across town.
[people screaming]
[muffled] Potassium.
It's okay.
It's gonna be okay.
Our parents will know what to do.
[all clamoring]
[whistle blows]
[Savage] That's enough!
Now, even though we had to spend the night
in the school, be assured,
the government will sort all this out.
We have an army base, literally on our doorstep.
All that is required of us
is that we remain calm
and patient.
If anyone has any further questions,
I've set up temporary office space over there,
adjacent to the fridge.
[sirens blaring in distance]
I'll get someone.
Doctors can't fix it, dear.
Don't think your teachers could do much.
I'm just worried about Christopher.
He's seen, like, every horror movie.
He'll know what to do.
[banging on door]
Go.
[both yell]
See?
- Told you it was them! - Have you been bitten?
- Show me! - They're fine!
Hey, guys! [sighs]
[Anna] Did you guys break in?
Uh, the back door was unlocked.
That's the cleaner's job!
Oh. Although, she might have been concussed.
[Chris] So, uh...
We were out filming the soup kitchen last night.
It was really good, and then we...
[Steph] Then somebody screamed.
[Chris] Yeah.
Hey, zombies, right? It's crazy!
I know!
Excuse Anna.
She's in Egypt at the moment.
Because she's so far in denial!
[Chris laughs]
You're not funny.
[Chris] Oh!
- [Chris and John] Boom! - You guys heard anything?
Further updates now on the unfolding global crisis.
Reports of mass infection
with the as-yet-unidentified virus
continue to come in from across the world.
- Sources at the UN... - Whatever.
Big firm has been doing weird shit for years. It's a cover up.
...historic proportions.
Further information and details
of the evacuation program can be found on social media.
[Steph] Yeah, once it's safe,
we're supposed to go to the school.
So the school's okay?
Yeah. And the army's going to escort us out.
How cool will that be?
- Shit! - What?
Justin Bieber's a zombie!
[laughs]
Also, search "#EvacSelfie."
- Look. - [Steph] Oh, no!
[Chris laughs]
[Steph] Well... We all deserve to go extinct.
[all groaning]
Oh! Bollocks! He's definitely a zombie.
Robert Downey Jr. has, like, a bazillion dollars.
He is in a hot tub right now
surrounded by electric fences
and models!
Yeah, but,
it just takes one personal trainer
with a bite and then...
- [yells] - Uh-uh.
Iron Man lives!
What about Ryan Gosling?
Doesn't matter.
Alive? Dead? The guy's still cool!
Yeah.
[both snap fingers]
Um... Taylor Swift?
Jesus, Chris!
Why would you even say that?
Tay Tay's fine!
Yeah, all right, I was just...
She's fine!
Do you think Paris is still standing?
Yeah.
French don't take no shit!
[snaps fingers]
[faint growling]
[door creaking]
Mrs. Hinzmann?
[growling]
Um...
[grunts] No!
[screaming]
[Steph yelling]
[grunting]
[Anna panting]
[both screaming]
[music playing on speakers]
They're inside!
[zombies growling]
[grunts]
- John? - What do I do?
What do I do?
[Chris] Destroy the brain like in the movies!
[zombie groans]
[gagging]
[vomits]
[grunting]
[grunts]
Get behind the table!
[growling]
[grunting]
Go, on three!
Three! Two!
I said "after three!"
You said "on three!" Think about your words!
[mimicking] "Think about your words!"
- [roaring] - [gasping]
Fuck off! [grunts]
[gasps and grunts]
Fuck off!
[grunts]
Can you... Can you understand me?
Okay.
[groaning]
Yeah! Boom!
[Steph vocalizing]
[Anna grunting]
[music stops]
[zombie growling]
- [zombie growling] - [sighs]
[screams]
- [Chris grunts] - [snarls]
[panting]
[wind howling]
[Lisa] Mr. Savage?
Is... Is there anything we can give Bea?
Am I supposed to know who that is?
It's just 'cause she's got a bad heart, so...
Look around you, Miss Snow.
What do you see?
Um...
Tables?
I see civilization on the edge.
And what does civilization do
when it finds itself on the edge?
We help each other?
[chuckles]
We prioritize.
[distant explosions]
- [people screaming] - [explosions continue]
[sobbing]
♪ Staring at a screen ♪
♪ In a neon haze ♪
♪ Whoa Lost in this machine ♪
♪ And I can't engage ♪
♪ We've become technology ♪
♪ Made of code and binary ♪
♪ What the hell Is left of me? ♪
♪ Tell me that It's not too late ♪
♪ How much longer Must I wait? ♪
♪ I want to communicate ♪
[all] ♪ I need a human voice ♪
♪ Something that I can hold on to ♪
♪ In all this static noise ♪
♪ I need someone To break on through ♪
♪ I can feel the hook Dancing on my skin ♪
♪ Whoa Everywhere I look ♪
♪ Walls are closing in ♪
♪ I can't Stand this atmosphere ♪
♪ I don't want to disappear ♪
♪ Help me make it Out of here ♪
♪ How can we escape The blur? ♪
♪ Get back to the way We were ♪
♪ Breathe a little easier ♪
- ♪ I need a human voice ♪ - ♪ I need a human voice ♪
♪ Something that I can hold on to ♪
- ♪ In all this static noise ♪ - ♪ In all this static noise ♪
♪ I need someone To break on through ♪
♪ To break on through ♪
♪ I lay my head ♪
♪ On my pillow ♪
♪ And pray ♪
♪ That some day ♪
♪ We'll talk in that Old-fashioned way ♪
♪ There's so much to fear ♪
♪ In all this noise ♪
♪ Oh, all I want to hear ♪
♪ Is a human voice ♪
♪ Just a human voice ♪
[Anna gasps]
[Chris] Shit!
- What's wrong? - The snow's gone.
Fucking hell, Chris! What about the army?
[Chris] See for yourself.
[zombies growling]
Everyone's dead.
People will still be waiting at the school.
We just need to get there.
There's no evacuation coming.
So, we'll get your car and leave town.
And go where?
Well, I don't know yet, but we'll figure something out.
Oh, I'm sorry. I forgot.
You can do anything.
I'm getting my dad, all right?
Yeah, and my gran and Lisa.
[scoffs] I want to find my mum too...
But how are we even gonna get past all the zombies?
I've just had the best idea ever.
[Steph] This is the stupidest idea ever.
We're all going to die.
[John] We should play a game.
Take your mind off it.
Helps me when I'm carsick.
'Cause this is exactly the same!
- Steph. - Yeah?
Um... Marry, shag, kill...
Zombie Miley, Zombie Rihanna, Zombie Beyonce.
Kill them all, they're zombies.
No, play it properly!
Marry Beyonce.
- Why are you killing Rihanna? - That's not what I said.
- Well, obviously, you're shagging... - [thud]
Is it a horde?
[Chris] One, two, three.
How many is a horde?
Just check!
[Chris] Shit.
I swear to God, if he says it's snowing again...
Uh, better. Killer old people!
What the fuck?
[zombies growling]
[camera clicks]
Yeah, an old woman's sitting on your face.
Oh.
[liquid trickling]
Is she pissing?
You're fine.
It's plastic.
It's warm plastic!
[zombie growls]
[zombie grunting]
[gasps]
Shit!
[all scream]
[laughing] All right, losers.
If you were going out, should've brought some muscle.
Hi, John!
Hi, Nick.
[Steph] Thought your big army dad
would have pulled you a favor and shipped you out?
Don't talk about my fucking dad!
Show some fucking respect.
[Steph] Says the guy who just murdered
a whole bunch of grandparents.
Actually,
can you get that on camera? It's a bit of human interest.
[boys whooping and laughing]
[John] Ah.
You've been looting.
Lovely!
[indistinct talking]
Where is your dad?
He went to the base.
Sorry.
[scoffs] Whatever.
[growling]
Shit! Get back under!
Hiding's for pussies, John boy!
We are hunters.
All right, boys, what do we have here?
- Are they, uh, excited? - Yeah, mate. Use that.
[Anna] They're idiots.
So, yeah, probably.
Oh.
[Nick] ♪ Oh, yeah ♪
Ladies, why don't you get behind me?
Yeah, groovy. [laughs]
[vocalizing]
Mate, pass me that bat.
♪ The streets are chaos ♪
♪ And the outlook is dire ♪
♪ Time for a hero To step into the fire ♪
♪ The world's a jungle And we're close To extinction ♪
♪ This is my moment ♪
♪ And I'll fight With distinction ♪
♪ Rule one: stay focused ♪
♪ Keep your concentration ♪
♪ Rule two: have fun ♪
♪ And use your imagination ♪
♪ No time for weakness ♪
♪ When the undead Are waiting ♪
♪ Tool up, get out there ♪
- ♪ And start decapitating ♪ - [boys yelling]
♪ When it comes To killing zombies ♪
♪ I'm the top of my class ♪
♪ While you've been hiding ♪
♪ I've been kicking some ass ♪
♪ I know the best Form of defense is attack ♪
♪ I know what I'm fighting for ♪
♪ I'm a soldier at war ♪
[boys cheering]
[panting]
♪ Life is a big game ♪
♪ When it's over You're done for ♪
♪ I'm taking my aim ♪
♪ For the maximum high score ♪
♪ Only the toughest Will survive in this arcade ♪
♪ So follow me ♪
♪ And you'll see just how The game's played ♪
- ♪ When it comes To killing zombies ♪ -Come on, come on! [yelling]
♪ I'm the top of my class ♪
♪ While you've been hiding ♪
♪ I've been kicking some ass ♪
♪ I know the best Form of defense is attack ♪
♪ I know what I'm fighting for ♪
♪ I'm a soldier at war ♪
[snarling, growling]
♪ I'll crush, I'll chop ♪
♪ I'll maim and I'll batter ♪
♪ Saving humanity Is no laughing matter ♪
♪ I'll stab, I'll slash ♪
♪ I'll ground and I'll pound ♪
♪ When there's a job to do ♪
♪ I don't fuck around ♪
♪ When it comes To killing zombies ♪
♪ I'm the top of my class ♪
♪ While you've been hiding ♪
♪ I've been kicking some ass ♪
[mouthing] Fuck you.
♪ I know the best Form of defense is attack ♪
♪ I know what I'm fighting for ♪
♪ I'm a soldier at war ♪
[boys] ♪ I will fight for you ♪
- ♪ I'm a soldier at war ♪ - ♪ I will fight for you ♪
♪ I'm a soldier at war ♪
♪ I will fight for you ♪
- ♪ I'm a soldier at war ♪ - ♪ I will fight for you ♪
Come on, lads.
We can't let the ladies go off without some real men.
[grunts]
Hey, so where are we going?
Somewhere fun?
[growling]
[Savage] People...
People, you have to listen to me.
We have to stay in the school.
You have to trust me.
I've devised a 12-point plan.
Arthur. We're on our own.
It's time to go.
We have emergency guidelines in place for a reason.
We have to hold out.
Enough!
If you love this place so much,
you're welcome to stay.
But I'm the headmaster.
I'm the headmaster.
I'm headmaster!
Come with us, Arthur. You can help.
Don't patronize me,
you fucking janitor!
After everything I've done for you all,
this is how you treat me?
- [clattering] - [gasps]
- [zombies growling] - [doorknobs rattling]
This is my school.
Reckon they'll use our stuff on the news?
It'll make my gran so happy.
[John] That's weird, isn't it?
I mean, like...
You hear about riots and revolutions in other countries,
but not here.
We could die!
[Anna] Hey!
Well, we could, though.
At least you won't be going anywhere anymore,
so that's something.
What does that mean?
Well...
It's different now.
You can't just leave.
John, you're my best friend, yeah?
You know that.
Of course.
John.
You're my best friend.
Swap.
Besides, nobody's dying.
I'm going traveling
and you're going to art school.
[scoffs]
Yeah, because abstract impressionists
are super important right now.
Oh. [exclaiming softly]
You really think you can still
get away after all this?
Watch me.
Could go through here. Quicker.
Plus, it'll be fun!
- Right, lads? - [boys chuckle]
Yeah! Certain death is so much fun!
Aw! Don't piss your pants!
- [boys laugh] - Pretty dark.
Yeah, it'll be the same out here soon.
Look. We go through here,
we might make it to the school before sundown.
Come on. You know we've got this.
- [distant thud] - [car alarm wails distantly]
All right. Fun way it is.
Eh, can we vote?
[Nick] Yeah.
Here's your vote.
Live or die?
[boys laugh]
[Jake] After you!
In you go! Go!
- [grunts] - [gasps]
[boys laughing]
[gnome] Have a Christmassy Christmas!
[powering down]
[chuckles]
- Guess there's nobody gnome! - [all laugh]
[all screaming]
[Steph] Oh, no!
[Chris] Steph! [Steph] Fuck! Chris!
[whispering] John?
Fuck.
[both grunt]
[John] Guys!
Over there.
[indistinct screaming]
[Steph] Come on! Hurry!
Jake?
Tibbsy?
Oh, fuck, guys!
[John] Anna!
[Chris] John! [John] Anna!
[Steph] Just get to the door!
[Anna] Where's John?
- [Nick] What are you doing? - Where is he?
[Nick] Come on! For God's sake, Anna!
- [John] What are you doing? - Go, go, go!
[John] Come on! Quick, quick, quick! [Anna] Come on!
- [screams] - [Steph] Oh, no!
- My phone! - [Steph] Chris!
Are you fucking kidding me? Come on!
Move, move, move! Come on, run!
[all growling]
That was so stupid!
I know.
I'm sorry about your friends.
Yeah, they should have kept up.
[Steph] You should have left it behind.
It's just plastic and glass.
And all my photos and videos.
- Lisa and Gran. - [Nick grunts]
They're alive, Chris.
You don't believe that.
You think your girlfriend's dead,
and your parents.
[Nick grunts]
[kicks table]
[grunts]
What if everyone is dead?
Then you'll think of something.
You usually do.
It's actually kind of annoying.
[Nick] We good to go?
Or does John need to change his tampon?
I can really see why you find him so irresistible!
Shut up.
[laughs]
Come on.
[John] Oh, by the way...
I remembered the names of all Santa's reindeer.
- [Anna] Oh, yeah? - Yeah.
- You ready? - Okay, ready.
So, there's Dasher, Dancer,
Comet, Vixen,
- Cupid... - Cupid?
I know, right?
Prancer, Donner, Blitzen and Rudolph!
[screaming]
[John sniffles]
Come on. Get up. Please.
Get up!
[zombies growling]
- John! John! John! - [John grunting]
John!
[grunts] John! John!
- No, Anna, no! Leave him. - John!
Leave him. He's gone.
- Leave him. - [John screaming]
Leave him. Look, I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
[sobbing]
No! Fuck! No!
[Steph] Hey!
Hey! Your dad's waiting for you.
Yeah.
[Anna grunting]
Holy shit!
[Anna grunts]
[Nick] Hurry up!
[zombie snarling]
[cutlery clinking]
What?
What are you doing?
I am eating my Christmas dinner, Miss North.
I expect you'll all be wanting to see your parents.
You're very lucky children,
because they almost...
Left.
[Chris] Thank you.
[zombies growling and grunting]
It's locked.
[shushing]
[Steph] What the fuck?
Do you know, Miss North, for such a serious journalist,
your vocabulary does leave an awful lot to be desired.
You're a teacher, for God's sake.
Not so cocky now, are we, Miss Shepherd?
I can't wait to show your daddy what's left of you.
[Steph] Savage. Please, please,
- please! Oh, God! - [blows whistle]
- Go! - Pudding!
[Steph] Go! [Anna] Chris!
[Nick] Everyone, go, go!
♪ Shut up, all you idiots ♪
♪ You little shits Should listen to me ♪
- [Nick] Get away! - [Anna screams]
♪ Did I fail to mention ♪
♪ Your attention's Now obligatory? ♪
♪ All my life they told me I would never succeed ♪
♪ Put me down, controlled me Made me follow their lead ♪
♪ Bought the lies they sold me For too long ♪
♪ But now I'm finally free ♪
♪ Nothing's gonna Stop me now ♪
♪ It took me time to blossom I know ♪
♪ But I'm all fired up And I'm ready to go ♪
♪ Nothing's gonna Stop me now ♪
♪ I knew that I would Make it somehow ♪
♪ And nothing's Stopping me now ♪
♪ Oh, no ♪
♪ All you little sleazes Spread diseases ♪
♪ In your infested beds ♪
♪ Always speaking Texting, tweeting ♪
♪ Every thought That's in your vacuous heads ♪
[all screaming]
♪ It's been so hard To bite my tongue ♪
♪ While you fucked around ♪
♪ You just can't see The damage done ♪
♪ It's all falling down ♪
♪ But youth is wasted On the young ♪
♪ And now my time Is coming around ♪
♪ Oh, yeah ♪
♪ Nothing's gonna Stop me now ♪
♪ It took me time to blossom I know ♪
♪ But I'm all fired up ♪
♪ And I'm ready to go ♪
♪ Nothing's gonna Stop me now ♪
[Nick] Anna!
♪ I knew that I would Make it somehow ♪
♪ And nothing's stopping me ♪
[zombies snarling]
I've been calling you all zombies for years!
Now fuck off!
[grunting]
Where's my dad?
[Nick] Okay, come on!
[Steph] I'll go get my car keys,
you go find your dad. Meet outside.
[Anna] Savage!
I didn't mean it about your parents, and stuff.
It's, uh... It's fine.
I know how I am, so...
[Chris] Well...
Whatever happens...
You've got us.
Listen.
[muffled song playing on speakers]
It's Lisa's song.
[door closes]
[door creaking]
Chris?
Baby!
Savage, he opened the doors,
and we had to run, and there was just so many of them.
But, Bea, her heart...
But we got her up here, but her heart was...
I'm so sorry.
At least she's not one of them.
[kisses]
Bye, Gran.
Shit!
Hey, don't worry. We'll find your dad, okay?
Dream team!
We're a lot of things, Nick, but we've never been a team.
Hey... [sighs]
It wasn't me, you know.
That night you stayed at mine.
I didn't say nothing to no one.
Wait.
You think that's why I'm angry with you?
Yeah, obviously.
Nick, I don't care about the sex.
I'm angry with you because we shared
all that stuff about our future,
and you acted like it meant something,
and then you just dumped me!
I trusted you.
Oh.
That's it?
You are such a prick.
Hey, look. Just 'cause your little fuck buddy died,
don't go taking it out all on me.
Don't you dare talk about John!
What have you ever done that wasn't just about yourself?
Killed my dad.
[exhales]
He got bit.
So he gave me the bat [sniffles]
and he said, "Don't you let me down, son.
For once."
So I...
[breathing shakily]
[grunts]
[sobbing]
Fuck. [sniffles]
Right, enough of this pansy bollocks.
- [zombies growling] - Shit!
Right, I'll hold them back.
No, we stick together.
Hey, hey! Zombies, over here! This way, this way!
Look at me! Zombies, this way! That's it!
This way! There you go!
You ugly bunch of bastards.
Here! Nice juicy arm? Come on!
[laughs] Don't just stand there like a dick! Go!
For fuck's sake, Nick!
Just go and get your dad, yeah?
Come on!
♪ When it comes To killing zombies ♪
♪ I'm the top of my class ♪
Where are the keys?
[Steph] He's always taking shit off me
and putting it in his office.
You two, stay here.
- No. - No, it's fine.
I've got this.
[lock clicking]
[door creaking]
[exhales]
[breathing shakily]
[zombie grunting]
No, wait, wait, wait.
Look.
[growling]
[breath trembling]
[whimpers]
[sighs]
Okay.
[grunts]
- [exclaims in disgust] - [zombie grunts]
Oh, no.
Fuck this place.
[soft rattling]
[squeaks]
[closes zip]
[soft rattling]
[TV playing indistinctly]
[whispers] What are you doing?
Go.
Crawl out.
[John on TV] Take a picture, take a picture.
[Steph on TV] Okay.
[laughter on TV]
There you go. Smile!
[John] Cheese!
[laughter on TV]
- [TV beeping] - [zombies grunting]
[zombies growling]
- Look out, Chris! Chris! - [Chris screaming]
- Chris, go, go! - Lisa. Lisa!
- Get off him! - Get back!
[grunting]
[Lisa] Stop! Get off!
- [Chris] No, no! - [screams]
[Chris screams] Get off her!
[screaming]
[Lisa] Stop!
[TV playing indistinctly]
- Okay? - [chuckles softly]
What do you think?
[laughs]
I love it.
[zombies growling]
Anna! Run!
How on earth are you still alive?
[zombie growls]
Showing off, I see.
Quite the leading lady, aren't we?
Well...
The stage is all yours.
Why don't you give us all a show?
♪ It's been said "The world's a stage ♪
♪ And everyone Must play their part" ♪
♪ Well, if that's true, I'll act ♪
♪ With all my heart ♪
♪ I'll take my cue ♪
♪ To go stand 'neath the spotlight's glow ♪
♪ And give them One hell of a ♪
♪ Show ♪
♪ There are some things In life ♪
♪ That you just Can't control ♪
♪ But I'm ready to fight ♪
♪ I was born for this role ♪
♪ I'll do all I can ♪
♪ Before I go to my grave ♪
♪ There is good on this earth ♪
♪ And it's worth trying to save ♪
♪ Well, Miss Shepherd You're so wrong ♪
♪ You don't have a clue ♪
♪ A purge on this species Is long overdue ♪
♪ All humanity's broken ♪
♪ Our story is done ♪
♪ As the set catches fire Might as well have some fun ♪
[Anna and Savage] ♪ So raise the curtain ♪
♪ Hit the lights ♪
♪ Strike up the band ♪
♪ For the final night ♪
♪ And if it is my time to go ♪
♪ I'll give them One hell of a show ♪
- ♪ You're a silly, weak girl ♪ - ♪ You're a mad man ♪
♪ I guess The truth can be hard To hear sometimes ♪
♪ You've been losing your mind And it's sad, man ♪
♪ No, I finally see Where I once was blind ♪
♪ And I have never felt So much bliss ♪
♪ Oh, how can you Take pleasure in this? ♪
♪ Raise the curtain ♪
♪ Hit the lights ♪
♪ Strike up the band For the final night ♪
♪ And if it is my time to go ♪
♪ I won't waste a moment, I know ♪
♪ I'll give them ♪
♪ One hell of a show ♪
[Savage laughs]
Dad.
[Tony laughing] Oh.
Group hug.
- [Tony grunts] - [groans]
[groaning]
Dad. Just leave it.
He's not worth it.
[laughing]
You roly-poly, pig-faced pleb!
[Tony grunts]
[both grunting]
Dad!
No, please.
[whimpering]
Dad!
[laughs]
[grunting]
[whimpering]
[laughing]
No!
- No, no! - [flesh tearing]
[Savage screaming]
[continues screaming]
[screaming stops]
Come on! We've got a car.
Dad?
No.
No!
[sobbing]
[cane clatters]
[sobbing] No.
They've got to be working on a cure.
It happens too quickly.
I can't come with you.
- I don't know what to do. - Yes, you do.
- You do. Just like always. - [sobbing]
God! If your mum could see you now.
[banging on door]
[footsteps approaching]
I'm not crazy about your boyfriend, though.
He's not my boyfriend.
Well, there's some good news.
You need to go.
I don't want to.
Please. For once in your life,
don't argue with me.
- Do you want me to help? - [Nick] No.
Don't.
He's right.
I am so proud of you.
- [sobbing] - Now go.
Bugger off!
Anna.
Anna, come on, we have to go.
- [sniffles] - Come on.
Merry Christmas, Anna.
Merry Christmas, Dad.
[zombies growling]
♪ When I look back ♪
♪ Over my yesterdays ♪
♪ I was so sure ♪
♪ Certain I'd find my way ♪
♪ But now the world ♪
♪ Oh, is such A different place ♪
♪ All of my dreams ♪
♪ Are gone without a trace ♪
♪ Where is the light ♪
♪ That used to shine? ♪
♪ Oh, where is the life ♪
♪ That once was mine? ♪
♪ But while there's hope ♪
♪ Oh, while I still breathe ♪
♪ I will believe ♪
[Anna and Nick] ♪ All of a sudden ♪
♪ The blood in my veins Runs cold ♪
♪ Thinking about all the days That I just let go ♪
♪ If I had reckoned The seconds would slip From me ♪
♪ I'd have paid Twice of the price ♪
♪ For the memory ♪
[Anna] ♪ Where is the light ♪
♪ That used to shine? ♪
♪ Oh, where is the life ♪
♪ That once was mine? ♪
♪ But while there's hope ♪
♪ While I still breathe ♪
♪ I will believe ♪
♪ But while there's hope ♪
♪ While I still breathe ♪
♪ I will believe ♪
[zombies growling]
I'm sorry.
Yeah.
[breathing deeply]
[horn blaring]
Boom! Saved your life!
[engine revs]
[festive music playing]
[students] ♪ Ooh-ah, ooh-ah ♪
♪ No such thing As a Hollywood ending ♪
Where to next?
♪ No such thing As a Hollywood ending ♪
♪ Ooh-ah, ooh-ah ♪
♪ No such thing As a Hollywood ending ♪
♪ Ooh-ah, ooh-ah ♪
♪ There's no such thing As a Hollywood ending ♪
♪ This is not ♪
♪ No such thing As a Hollywood ending ♪
♪ The story You've been dreaming of ♪
♪ No such thing As a Hollywood ending ♪
♪ The one where You get all you want ♪
♪ So stop your pretending ♪
♪ There's no such thing as a ♪
♪ Hollywood ending ♪
[roaring]
Subtitles by explosiveskull